Anonymous 
Pakistan 
03/03/2020

Below is a question the sister wanted me to ask a scholar. 


Question:

I’m not able to love my husband. I’m a dutiful wife and a mother. I treat him so well that he’s happy with me and doesn’t have a hint about the way I feel for him or the lack of it. He’s a good man, but my heart is with someone else even though I’m not in contact with him.  I’m like a caged bird that sings for and entertains it’s master but awaits for the cage to be opened to fly away.  The cage is this marriage. Whether it ends with my own death or his death, whether in this world or the next, I’m only awaiting my freedom from this cage to join the one who has my heart. My question is, am I being disloyal towards my husband and committing an oppression? Is divorcing him farad on me under this circumstance? I’m staying in this marriage for other benefits and conveniences it has offered for myself and my children and except for my heart, I’ve given my husband everything else in its best shape and form.


Answer from the Scholar: 

Islamically, you are not doing anything wrong per se as you do not have any contacts with this person. And since this is not stopping you from performing all your duties to your husband in the best way, you are not obliged to divorce him. However, for your own good, I would advice you to try and let go of the other man from your heart and embrace the one whom Allah has destined for you with all your heart. If you sincerely try and make dua to Allah, He will change your heart. He is Muqallibul Quloob. Trust Him.

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